I used to think that talking to people was a waste of time. I tried to ask about their lives out of curiosity, but their life snippets didn’t benefit me in any way. Sometimes, it did give have some benefits, like they could correct my homework or invite me to events, but that made me feel like the benefits are more important than the people.

I only changed my mind until I read the book Getting Relationships Right. I realised that even though I’ve been pretending it’s not the case, I still crave connections. I usually assume that I have nothing interesting to share, but it is very gratifying if someone actually listens to what I say. On the other hand, I am usually afraid of hearing my friends’ talk about their lives when they’re doing better than me, but sometimes I do get inspired by their experiences. I care about my friends because I want to build connections, not for any other concrete benefits.

Now I feel more comfortable making small talk, sending and replying text messages, and eating with others if it means I can express myself and learn more about my friends’ interests and aspirations. It’ll take a lot of time, and there’s no guarantee it’ll go well. But isn’t this the most rewarding hobby I could ever get?